A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

Roses are flowers.

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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