What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

Manchester City

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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