Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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