What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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