What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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