Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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diarrhea.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops