Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops