Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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What do you call a white guy in a joke? The first joke to specify one of the people in the joke as one with Caucasian origin.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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