What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops