Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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