What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Obama

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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National security?

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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