What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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