- Anti Joke

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops