A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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