Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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