What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Your girlfriend.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops