Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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