- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The american education system.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops