A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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A bar walks into a man

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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