When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

thumb_up thumb_down -11

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops