Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops