If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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