Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

Your adopted

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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