how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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