how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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KOOKABURRA

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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