What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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