Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Why? Because.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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