"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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