Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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