What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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