Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your so gay, that you like men!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops