What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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