kill yourself....with a cigarette

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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