Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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