A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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guess what what ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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