Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Your mother is average.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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