- Anti Joke

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? walks toward American Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American bows "Japanesed Murican": Fighting Pose " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" Japanese people run away Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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