how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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