Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

A black man has a job.

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

womens rights

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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