Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

Wanna hear a joke? no

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

Why did the dog die? He was old

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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