Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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I love you

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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- Helen Keller

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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