How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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knock knock go away

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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