João Duarte reads this.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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