When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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