A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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George W. Bush

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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