How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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pudding

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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