Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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