Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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