Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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