What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops