What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

What would Muhammed do?

What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

andrew wagner

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

30cm = 0,3meters

How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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