Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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what are three short words? i a am

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops