The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops